There is nothing more satisfying in the life of a woman than kicking off your heels after a wonderful dinner party.

Tonight was perfect.

I wore a new dress, my friend’s house was lovely and inviting, and I spent the evening making witty conversation with a famous drummer, a rich, beautiful housewife, and two hilarious gay men. Snow was in the air, there was classy music on the stereo, and I was in top form: I conversed, I laughed, I sparkled.

I have spent hours upon hours at parties such as this one, standing against a wall or crouched in the corner of a sofa, praying someone or no one will talk to me. I have spent hours upon hours not knowing what to say, not feeling like I fit in, not feeling like I was wanted, cared about, or noticed. But tonight, I was a part of it all, and it felt

so

damn

good.

1. I am sick.

2. Very sick.

3. Please come over so I can whine and feel sorry for myself.

4. I had finals last week, and I am pleased with my performance.

5. I have had some interesting revelations about myself, emotional walls, and faded linoleum.

6. Yesterday was the 6th anniversary of my grandma’s death, and the 1st time I visited her grave.

7. Bacon lasts much longer in the fridge than you’d think.

8. DINKS frustrate me.

9. Because I am jealous of their money.

10. Now I must go scrub the green film of shame and envy from my body.

11. And I am wondering how in the world it is possible that a fairly uncomplicated and mutual divorce can take an entire flipping year to complete.

12. The end.