I’m learning to call people all the time and ask for help, which is about the hardest thing I can think of doing. I’m always suggesting that other people do it, but it really is awful at first.

- Anne Lamott, Operating Instructions

Asking for help really is just about the hardest thing for me to do. When people call and ask if there’s anything they can do, anything at all, I rack my brain trying to think of something small I can ask them to do to humor them, make them feel useful, and get them off my back. “Oh, you know what?” I’ll say. “I’ve really been wanting the recipe for that pie you made a few months ago! I’ve just been craving that pie! If you could email me the recipe, that would just be so wonderful!” They tell me no problem, they email the recipe, and I don’t have to deal with them again for a few days.

I’m starting to lose faith in my ability to deal with other humans. I’ve always known that I’m sort of an odd duck, a bit left of normal, but when I sit down at the computer and actually start up a list of fake excuses to give people when they ask what they can do for me… I don’t know, isn’t that a little worrisome?

The problem is, right now I truly do need help. Real help. Down in the dirt mud up to your elbows help. And I seem to be completely incapable of asking people to help with things I honestly need. Instead I ask them for something stupid and irrelevant. And then I go around berating myself for losing my chance with that person. I can’t ask them for anything else now! I already used them up by asking for their apple pie recipe!

Like I would ever actually make a pie. Jeez oh lou.