self portrait tuesday: spinal curve
Both of my children were born via C-section. Babs was a big baby, almost 9 1/2 pounds, and my doctor thought that her size was the reason I was unable to push her out. While I was pregnant with Zibbit, I considered a VBAC, but never felt right about it. I was worried that she would be just as big as Babs was, and I would go through labor and pushing and still end up having another surgery. So in the end, she was born via a scheduled C-section, and oooh she was tiny! Barely 7 pounds! I regretted the surgery, and felt sure that I could have managed a vaginal birth with such a small baby.
A year later, we were rear ended at a stoplight. Our car was totaled. Both my husband and I suffered painful whiplash and needed treatment from our chiropractor. Before she began our treatment, she x-rayed both of our backs to make sure she understood the damage from the crash. When she showed me my film, she pointed out that I have significant curves in my spine that have probably been there since birth. As a result of those curves my hips aren’t aligned properly, one of them curved slightly up and out. My tailbone, which should be settled nicely behind my hips, is pulled forward by the misalignment- partially blocking off the birth canal.
When I saw those x-rays, I couldn’t believe it. No wonder I couldn’t push Babs out! Every contraction was shoving her head right into that bone. A vaginal birth was impossible, and without medical intervention we both would have died. It was fascinating to see my spine and my hips… almost like the missing puzzle piece was finally found. I wish I had known before, so that I didn’t put both of our bodies through the trauma of a futile labor, but I’m glad I listened to that feeling I had during my second pregnancy. Even though she was much smaller, Zibbit still never would have fit through the space blocked off by my tailbone. I am so grateful for the modern medicine that enabled me to deliver my children safely, even though my imperfect body made it difficult.
See more self portraits here.
What a stunning portrait of a beautiful back. I can just see the curve that you talk about. Yay for for modern medecine!
Comment by Janet — October 23, 2006 @ October 23, 2006 at 11:47 pm
indeed a stunning portrait. i cannot believe you’ve had two children. this story is amazing. so happy you found a doctor that is so enlightening. take care of that sexy back of yours…; )
Comment by Boho — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 12:06 am
really nice portrait…
Comment by Vedrana — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 1:02 am
The science supporting your *self-knowledge* is fascinating … and good to know that you know yourself, even when you don’t (initially) know why one way is preferred above another. Take care.
Comment by girlfriday — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 2:59 am
Beautiful picture!
Comment by JC — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 3:14 am
What a story and this photo is gorgeous.
Comment by kristen — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 3:47 am
This portrait is so beautiful–love the tattoo and the position of the body. So glad to hear you had healthy births…
Comment by C. Delia — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 6:42 am
WOW. You are so beautiful! What a wonderful picture!!
Comment by Queen Beth — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 7:57 am
That picture is breathtaking.
Comment by mamatulip — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 7:58 am
An amazing story. An amazing picture. An amazing model. Where ever did you find her?
Comment by SS — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 8:18 am
beautiful picture, lovely tattoo, amazing story.
Comment by wood from sweetjuniper — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 8:48 am
Wow, that story gave me chills. Thank goodness for listening to your inner voice. Your photo is gorgeous!
Comment by DebR — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 9:06 am
Beautiful.
Comment by Georgia — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 10:24 am
Awesome post! I’m so glad you gave birth to our two wonderful girls…
Comment by Ammon — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 11:00 am
Awesome photo. I am *still* jealous of your freckles! And VERY glad that you didn’t die!
Comment by Megan — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 11:04 am
what an amazing story.
My husband had his tail bone removed when he was about 9 years old. He got a lot of uncomfortable pain whilst sitting down. Beautiful photograph, well done!
Comment by Zoe — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 11:37 am
You are definitely one sexy hot mama!
Comment by Stigma With Style — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 12:03 pm
I have curvatures of my spine as well. It is not a fun thing.
Gorgeous photo.
Comment by Loralee — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 1:11 pm
your photo is breath taking! What a wonderful story to go along with it. I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. While, it’s not the greatest that you and your husband were in an accident, you found an answer.
Comment by uber mer — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Beautiful photo and post!
Comment by Nikki — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 1:40 pm
really lovley photo
Comment by gay schiff — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 2:33 pm
How utterly frightening it had to have been to discover that your tailbone could have killed you both during the birthing process. (I have a friend whose tailbone was chipped during an agonizing labor that resulted in a C-section.)
Now, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE may I copy that splendid photograph of yours, so I can sketch or paint it? Oh my, I love the pose, and I adore the human body. Will you let me know?
Thank you.
Comment by Bedazzzled1 — October 24, 2006 @ October 24, 2006 at 9:46 pm
Oh this is breathtaking-such a beautiful back!
My mother had severe scoliosis-her spine was like an s shape-I could always feel it when I hugged her.
Do you have back pain? I know it can be pretty painful.
Comment by colorsonmymind — October 25, 2006 @ October 25, 2006 at 3:14 pm
One more piece for you, even if it ends up in a C-section, experiencing labor is never “Futile” for a baby. All of that squeezing and massaging that the uterus does during labor helps to stimulate their bodies and nervous systems for an easier transition once they’re born, expecially after a ceasarian. So I just wanted you to know that all of that time wasn’t wasted, it was good for her, and maybe you in some way as yet unknown.
Comment by carrien — October 25, 2006 @ October 25, 2006 at 10:10 pm
NOw that I said that I realized I have no idea if she went into fetal distress or not, but anyway…
Comment by carrien — October 25, 2006 @ October 25, 2006 at 10:12 pm
Wow - I find this whole composition stunning. absolutely stunning.
Comment by csmc — October 26, 2006 @ October 26, 2006 at 3:50 pm
Another great self portrait, as always.
Comment by Chris — October 27, 2006 @ October 27, 2006 at 5:37 am
Such a beautiful photo
Comment by Kim — October 30, 2006 @ October 30, 2006 at 9:29 am