self portrait tuesday: what i see
To say that I had a rough weekend would be an understatement.
Ugh. I have no idea where this all came from. It’s so weird, I’ll be going along doing just fine, feeling good, life is happy… and then blammo! I blink and suddenly I feel like crap. I almost deleted that post I wrote late Saturday night because it was just too out there. That was me at my most vulnerable and insecure, and I winced when I read it again today. I left it up because, unfortunately, I do have those thoughts and feelings more than I would like to admit. It’s a part of me right now, and it sucks.
My photo for the third week of SPC’s “imperfection” series ties in really well with my last post. It’s me, looking in the mirror, feeling hopeless. Disliking the face I see looking back at me. Disliking the person who lives underneath the skin. Feeling broody and dark and unhappy. Not every day is like this, not even most. But when those days do come, they just knock me out. I don’t want to have those days anymore. There’s some imperfection for you.
More self portraits here.
What a great picture! I’m astounded by how much courage you have to post about your feelings. You help so many people.
Comment by Ammon — October 16, 2006 @ October 16, 2006 at 7:52 pm
On the bright side, you’re a little film noir looking there.
Comment by Megan — October 16, 2006 @ October 16, 2006 at 9:24 pm
Karli - I just can’t stop. I want to wisk you under my arm and love you to your core. You are loved for you really are - not as you should be, but who you are. God has MIGHTY plans for you, sweet daughter of His… MIGHTY plans. I am praying for you and praying for you.
Comment by April — October 16, 2006 @ October 16, 2006 at 10:59 pm
Great photo. We’re all imperfect. Perfection would be boring.
Comment by Chris — October 17, 2006 @ October 17, 2006 at 5:17 am
Your imperfection is perfect.
Comment by Stigma With Style — October 17, 2006 @ October 17, 2006 at 7:07 am
Did you get that light box yet?? Seriously, the weekend was reeeaally hard on me too -felt like someone hit me with a bat when I woke up Saturday morning thanks to the gloom. I tried to keep up with the normal routine but I had no strength, just wanted to sleep all day and felt all panicky when I looked outside. You know…I believe they have more open positions in NC!!!
Do you still need have more to sew?
Comment by Courtney — October 17, 2006 @ October 17, 2006 at 7:49 am
I think it’s a beautiful portrait, honest and open. I struggle with this too, wanting to let go of the negative self-talking that pulls at my soul, so much of it routine I barely notice it chipping me away.
Comment by kristen — October 17, 2006 @ October 17, 2006 at 8:53 am
Ammon’s comment did me in.
Comment by misha — October 17, 2006 @ October 17, 2006 at 1:26 pm
Thank you for leaving your last post up. it was your honest feelings at that time. We do so much censoring of ourselves- knowing you sometimes feel this way makes others feel less alone.
So thank you.
Comment by Paige — October 18, 2006 @ October 18, 2006 at 3:43 am
This is a very striking photograph. I love how you are surrounded by darkness with only your lovely face being prominent. Excellent.
Comment by Bedazzzled1 — October 19, 2006 @ October 19, 2006 at 7:53 am
Karli–
I’m praying for you. Out of the darkness and into the light girl. You’ll make it.
Blessings to you and the family.
Comment by samantha — October 23, 2006 @ October 23, 2006 at 6:21 am