question 175
Last week I came up with a fun idea for creating some discussion here on my blog. I’m going to continue that this week with a new question:
“If you could mold to your liking your memories of any past experience, would you do so?”
-The Book of Questions, pg 148
Oooh, this is a good one. This question really made me think. To “mold” a memory would mean to change in my mind the way it happened, and to me that amounts to nothing more than fooling myself. I have struggled so hard to achieve a clear and cohesive narrative for the memories that make up my past. Deciding to change a memory, to make it in my mind become something that it never was, scares me. I feel like that would be the crack that could weaken and ultimately break the structure of my life that I have built in my mind. I want to always be honest with myself, to see things for what they are and to learn and grow from those real experiences.
Now, that’s not to say that I wouldn’t completely forget things if I had the chance. Like the time I farted on my first day at my new school in first grade. Or the time I farted during a completely silent moment during class in fourth grade. I would love to forget the entire seventh grade, although there is no farting involved in that one. Oooh, and it’d be nice to forget every scary movie I watched trying to act all cool and pretend I wasn’t scared and then maybe I’d stop having nightmares about velociraptors dragging me through a deserted carnival at night and trying to peel off my face. Yeah, that’d be nice.
Your turn! How do you answer this question?
I would have to say dating a certain guy in college. I would LOVE to erase that memory.
Comment by Queen Beth — August 6, 2006 @ August 6, 2006 at 2:56 pm
My first thought on that one was similar to yours–that I wouldn’t want to fool myself. But the truth is that I fool myself all the time, and often not in a good way. I’m constantly misrembering things as being worse than they were, especially in regards to my own behavior. This isn’t healthful behavior. Numerous times I’ve talked to someone else involved in the memory, or read my journal entry about it, or whatever, and realized that I’ve twisted it. So I think I would change some of my memories–or, even better, simply forget. I tend to dwell on things so far in the past that it’s ridiculous and really doesn’t make any difference anymore. It’s not good.
Comment by Caryn — August 6, 2006 @ August 6, 2006 at 3:18 pm
I think, for my own sanity, I’ve diluted some experiences like my first baby’s colic stage. Other experiences seem to be magnified, thus contributing to my insanity.
Comment by abc momma — August 7, 2006 @ August 7, 2006 at 3:34 am
There are certainly things that I wish I could forget altogether but then I might not be the person I am, might not have the life I have. So, I guess I’ll just keep the good and the bad (and my recollection of them).
Comment by Vikki — August 7, 2006 @ August 7, 2006 at 6:52 am
Some memories - those where I did or said something stupid or hurtful - are sort of good to keep around, because they remind you not to make that same mistake again - “learning experiences” so to speak.
Some of the memories I would love to inhance are those special ones with grandparents, parents and friends and family that threaten to fade with time - and I am racking up the time! HA!! I know there are things I would love to share with my grown kids that my grandparents were a part of, and those memories have grow hazy so I am not sure of some of the details any more!
Here’s one that is a good one, and that I have shared with them! My grandmother lived in the “old adobe” at the San Gabriel Mission, and her mother catered lunches for the Valley Hunt Club of Pasadena, CA when they would have their Saturday rides - they would stop at the historical site near the mission and have their luncheons. “So what?” you say? The Valley Hunt Club started the famed Pasadena Rose Parade on New Year’s Day! I have the recipe for macaroni salad that my great grandmother made for those luncheons - It’s wonderful and I make it for my big gatherings!!
Comment by Grandi — August 7, 2006 @ August 7, 2006 at 9:12 am
This one is hard….
Comment by misha — August 7, 2006 @ August 7, 2006 at 12:34 pm
Of course there are things I would like to mold or erase or whathaveyou with many circumstances. But, I trust that God works all things together for good for those that love Him… and, with that said, I have to trust that He will use my situations of horror for His glory and testimony of how He can turn beauty from ashes. BUT… rhetorically speaking (that’s what you wanted, right?) I would like to mold the ‘me’ in the memories - because afterall, the memories I would like to change are those where I made stupid decisions.
Comment by April — August 8, 2006 @ August 8, 2006 at 7:42 am
I’m with Vikky and Grandi although there are things I’d rather forget, they were instrumental in making me what I am. But I’d enhance all the good memories of my late fiancée, and down play all the bad ones (except those that remind me not to make that same mistake again).
Comment by Marc André — August 8, 2006 @ August 8, 2006 at 8:00 am