i don’t deserve her
So, this one time? (At band camp?) The lovely Kathryn was here to visit, and she took her daughter upstairs to go potty. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because she was very polite and didn’t say anything, but later that night I was cleaning up the kitchen when I suddenly froze, the blood draining from my face. She had used the upstairs bathroom. The one that hadn’t been cleaned in, uhm, let’s see, I can’t even remember. I ran up there to check and sure enough, the toilet was filthy. My head hanging in shame, I plodded back down the stairs and picked up the phone to call her and apologize. She was so sweet about it, she said she didn’t mind at all and that Laylee was quite impressed because she thought I had let Babs color the potty. And then I died.
But then I came back to life, cleaned my toilet, and promptly forget to clean it again for a very long time.
Yesterday Tracey came over. She took her daughter upstairs to use the potty. Unfortunately, I think you know where this is going. But Tracey did say something. She came down, put her arm around my shoulders, and gently told me she was going to give me a present. She was going to clean my toilet for me.
Now, I may not be all that great at the howsekeepeeng and the kleening but I do have some pride. I told her no way! But that girl, she is persistent. I kept trying to distract her, but it wasn’t working. I offered my kitchen floor for her to mop instead, but she would not be swayed. I wouldn’t tell her where the cleaning supplies are kept, so she scrounged through every cabinet until she found them. She felt very proud of herself when she finally found them, and because I am dumb I decided to take a picture of her so I could remember this humiliating moment forever.
Next time I’m at her house I’m totally going to scrub her grout with some bleach and a toothbrush. Yeah. That’ll show her.
Oh, man! That’s what I should have done? I thought you wanted to keep Babs’s artwork for future generations to see. Sheesh. Sorry.
Comment by Daring Young Mom — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 11:09 am
You deserve me and you deserve clean potties too!
Comment by Stigma With Style — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 1:38 pm
I love it! Those things just do get away from you! Bless Tracey’s heart for being a great friend!!
Comment by Grandi — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 1:54 pm
Tracey dear sweet Tracey you can visit my house anytime!
Comment by Jenn — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 2:46 pm
Personally, I take a friend’s dirty toilet as a sign of good friendship. It makes me feel like family… and it makes me feel more normal for the filth that is my toilet.
Comment by jules — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 2:53 pm
Um….I can’t say I would be that good of a friend…sorry. You go Tracey!
Comment by Queen Beth — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 5:59 pm
First of all, I would love one of my friends to clean my potty-maybe.
Second, thanks for commenting on my blog. I think we should talk. I would have replied sooner but I had a few fires to put out after my B4B entry. I should really stop trying. Every time I enter I do something stupid and wind up with egg on my face.
Comment by Melessa — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 7:59 pm
I love it. Every time you visit each other, you can clean a little more out-of-the-way spot. It could become a contest.
Comment by Caryn — July 14, 2006 @ July 14, 2006 at 8:07 pm
I always feel so relieved when visiting a new friend whose house is not so perfect.
And it is soooooooooo much easier to clean someone else’s house than your own!!
No judgements is what makes a GREAT friendship, sounds like you have found that.
Delurking to say how much I enjoy your writing and am relieved your toilet is “colorful” too!
Comment by Deb — July 15, 2006 @ July 15, 2006 at 2:40 pm
Man, does this make me feel normal. My husband would absolutely divorce me then die if this ever happened at our house. No joke! I need to clean my toilet now that I think of it. “That’s what reminding is for.” - from movie Sleeping with the Enemy
I need a best friend to come over and clean for me.
Comment by Nina — July 15, 2006 @ July 15, 2006 at 6:28 pm
My mom was here yesterday. She hosed down the sidewalk that was covered with my weed dirt. *sigh*
PS: “The Glass Castle” is a brilliant book. I chose it as a bookclub selection last fall and we had an awesome discussion! Let me know what you think! C
Comment by Cmommy — July 15, 2006 @ July 15, 2006 at 9:02 pm
Oh man, I totally have nightmares that guests come to the house and I haven’t scrubbed the toilet.
I would far prefer to clean someone else’s house than my own. I think someone should come up with a house-swap cleaning program.
Comment by Jen — July 16, 2006 @ July 16, 2006 at 5:49 am
Oh man - if THAT PICTURE is your idea of a dirty bathroom (potty needing cleaning, or not) then I bow to your cleanliness. *chuckles*
Comment by Lessa — July 16, 2006 @ July 16, 2006 at 2:15 pm
Now that’s a true friend!
LOL…I love the picture!
Comment by Island Queen — July 18, 2006 @ July 18, 2006 at 7:33 pm
mwahahaha! That kills!
Comment by Heather from One Woman's World — July 19, 2006 @ July 19, 2006 at 2:26 pm
That blood-draining thing… yeah, been there, done that, same scenario… only ours is the basement bathroom. haha
Comment by April — July 21, 2006 @ July 21, 2006 at 11:41 pm
While my 10-yr old was having her violin lesson, my 6-yr old used the teacher’s bathroom and built “a nest,” with TOO MUCH t.p. To flush required a plunger, which the teacher kindly provided. But when I went to plunge, I found her toilet was pretty dirty…you know…yucky stuff and kinda personal stuff. I knew that she would know that I’d seen all that, so I cleaned it with the last Clorox wipe she had on the commode and never told her (or anyone else — besides you now).
Because love covers a multitude of sins…and…other stuff.
Comment by grafted branch — July 24, 2006 @ July 24, 2006 at 6:47 pm