So, this one time? (At band camp?) The lovely Kathryn was here to visit, and she took her daughter upstairs to go potty. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because she was very polite and didn’t say anything, but later that night I was cleaning up the kitchen when I suddenly froze, the blood draining from my face. She had used the upstairs bathroom. The one that hadn’t been cleaned in, uhm, let’s see, I can’t even remember. I ran up there to check and sure enough, the toilet was filthy. My head hanging in shame, I plodded back down the stairs and picked up the phone to call her and apologize. She was so sweet about it, she said she didn’t mind at all and that Laylee was quite impressed because she thought I had let Babs color the potty. And then I died.

But then I came back to life, cleaned my toilet, and promptly forget to clean it again for a very long time.

Yesterday Tracey came over. She took her daughter upstairs to use the potty. Unfortunately, I think you know where this is going. But Tracey did say something. She came down, put her arm around my shoulders, and gently told me she was going to give me a present. She was going to clean my toilet for me.

Now, I may not be all that great at the howsekeepeeng and the kleening but I do have some pride. I told her no way! But that girl, she is persistent. I kept trying to distract her, but it wasn’t working. I offered my kitchen floor for her to mop instead, but she would not be swayed. I wouldn’t tell her where the cleaning supplies are kept, so she scrounged through every cabinet until she found them. She felt very proud of herself when she finally found them, and because I am dumb I decided to take a picture of her so I could remember this humiliating moment forever.

Next time I’m at her house I’m totally going to scrub her grout with some bleach and a toothbrush. Yeah. That’ll show her.