Staying in shape as a mom is a really difficult thing for me. Partially because every day the effort of taking care of two young kids really drains me, but I think the main reason is because it requires doing something that is just for me. Everyone has needs, me included, but everyone else’s needs always seem to take priority over mine. And everyone else usually needs something all at the same time. The cats are meowing because I keep forgetting to refill their food bowl, Zibbit is whining because it’s an hour past her nap time, Babs is asking over and over and over and over to play Shutes and Ladders with me, the phone is ringing and it’s an important call from the insurance company… And that’s on a good day.

When a rare moment of quiet arises I don’t usually jump to accomplish the things on my list that I need to do for myself- although maybe I should. Maybe that’s why I end up going days without showering or taking out my contacts. I know I need to bump myself up on the priority list, but when those hushed moments come all I want to do is be still. While my kids are busy eating lunch I’ll stand at the back door watching the rain come down. If they’re content with an art project at the table, I might lie down in a square of sunlight filtering in through the window. Simple things that allow for nothing more than a chance to hear myself think for a bit. I guess for me, that’s one way of taking care of myself. I need those times to regroup and try to feel like a person again.

We have a membership to the gym down the road, but packing up the kids and depositing them in the gym daycare just so I can work out for an hour always ends up being such an ordeal. Babs is a homebody of the highest degree, and never wants to go anywhere, let alone somewhere that’s not a whole lot of fun for her. It’s always a struggle to get her out the door. Then there’s Zibbit who would rather die a thousand deaths than be strapped into the car seat. It just never seems worth the trouble, and so I never go. I finally went out and bought some of “The Firm” videos, figuring it would be easier to just work out at home during nap time. Which was silly of me, because I know full well that Babs doesn’t take a nap anymore. And she would much rather participate in the workout than watch from the sidelines as I sweat and struggle my way through.

But on the rare occasion that I am able to get through an entire video, I feel so fantastic and accomplished! My body virtually hums with energy. It feels good to have done something so positive for myself. I need to exercise for the health of my body, just like I need those times of quiet solitude for the health of my mind. It’s just a matter of keeping that in mind, and allowing myself to put me first. I don’t think that will ever be an easy thing for me to do, but I know that if I take care of myself it helps me to be a much better wife and mother. My family deserves that from me, and so do I.