self portrait tuesday: little girl me
I must be three or four years old in this picture. It was taken by my grandmother, out in her front yard. I spent so many warm summer days there, splashing through the sprinkler or climbing the big cherry blossom tree. In this picture I’m eating a popsicle; I remember listening intently for the tinkling music of the ice cream man, and then finally screaming with delight when he finally drove around the corner. My grandma would fish through her change jar for dimes and quarters, and I would race out the front door and down the driveway, wincing at the pain the gravel inflicted on my bare feet.
The dog in the picture is a chocolate lab named Yaz (named after the Boston Red Sox MVP Carl “Yaz” Yastrzemski- they named all of their pets after baseball players). In the photo his back comes up to my little waist; I remember loving the front end of this dog, and being terrified of the whacks given by the whip attached to his back end. Yaz had wanderlust, and we would often find him trotting down the street, blocks from home, his pink mouth widened into a huge grinning pant. My grandma was afraid of the dogcatcher, and I remember he would drive slowly down the street, calling and whistling to any unsuspecting pups lounging out in their front yards. My grandma would close all of the windows and blinds, and perch silent and nervous on the couch. I would lay on the living room floor with my arms around Yaz, my heart pounding with a mixture of fear and excitement, convinced we were outlaws banded together in a delicious conspiracy against the bad guys.
I miss those lazy, innocent summers, when the days lasted as long as years and the summer months stretched out in front of you long and golden, September an infinity away. My days now are broken up, choppy. I’m always thinking about what’s about to happen next. You blink an eye and a month has gone by. Take a breath and you’ve lost a year already. It bewilders me sometimes when Babs falls apart, missing her daddy and not seeming to understand me when I tell her he’ll be home at dinner time. When I look at that picture and see myself at the age she is now, I realize that she actually understands me perfectly. In her world, a thousand little adventures will take place between now and dinner time and the day’s end is a lifetime away. Maybe it would be a good idea to keep this picture out where I can see it all the time. Perhaps if I try to remember what it was like to be the little girl me, it will help me understand these bundles of sugar and spice who call me their mommy.
This month’s Self Portrait Tuesday theme is “Personal History”. To see more self portraits, go to the Self Portrait Tuesday blog.
This was beautiful. I’m really into photography, but more than that, I try to get into the subject’s mind and I sense a really happy time. Love your blog…
Comment by Dorothy — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 11:00 am
Yeah, it’s hard to remember sometimes that that toy on the floor that you keep tripping over isn’t a stupid toy… sometimes it is a very important part of your child’s world.
I remember grown-ups always thinking my “little” things were silly.
So, I think I’ll take what you wrote as advice. I will keep that feeling in mind next time I go to say something terribly “grown-up” to my kids.
Comment by Krista- The Silent K — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 11:05 am
I can’t even begin to tell you all the things I love about this post. You write beautifully.
Comment by Karen — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 11:54 am
Boy, what a cute kid you were. A truly delicious picture. I remember writing a letter to my adult self when I was a kid. I was really pissed at my parents or something and it was a ‘what not to do to your kids when you are older’ list. I wish I had that list now. I really do. I just hope I can come somewhere close to relating to Baby A when she grows up. I just keep getting older and more grumpy and it worries me.
Comment by Mama D — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 3:49 pm
Too cute! I have also been feeling pretty nostalgic lately. Must be that time of year. Or maybe it’s just getting older.
Comment by Jess — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 7:36 pm
Wonderful post. Oh how I remember the lovely, lazy days of summer as a child. Thanks for taking me back again for at least a little while.
By the way, I’m a Firefox user and your site looks great!!
Comment by Lauren — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 8:30 pm
You are so deep and introspective on this new blog…..But I’m not. i think you should sell that picture for money.
Comment by Kathryn, the DYM — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 9:10 pm
Too weird. Not your post, but the fact that the lovely book I just finished today has a bunny named Yaz, which I thought was a really weird name. And his owner has a Red Sox sweatshirt. Meant nothing to me, until now.
Sweet post, Karli.
Comment by Heather — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 11:03 pm
I love that line!
Comment by Liz — January 24, 2006 @ January 24, 2006 at 11:03 pm
There are some things about being a kid that I miss very much, and having the summer off and being lazy …. is one I miss dearly!
Comment by Jenna — January 25, 2006 @ January 25, 2006 at 5:59 am
Not until now did I realize that I actually remember being the age my daughter is. I remember being forced to go to bed too early and being denied the candy bar in the checkout lane. Thank you for reminding me. Empathy always helps. Beautiful picture and beautiful words.
Comment by Mignon — January 25, 2006 @ January 25, 2006 at 9:11 am
Karli, That was just absolutely beautiful. You have such a wonderful gift with words. Time passes so quickly and I always say to myself that I will cherish each moment, then 10 years are gone and it blows my mind. Did I cherish it enough? Did I make each moment last? Life is just so quick.
I just love your new blog.
Comment by Queen Beth — January 25, 2006 @ January 25, 2006 at 8:03 pm
You seem like such a happy girl in that picture. I am yearning for warm summer days already, and watching my kids catch lightening bugs out in the yard.
Comment by R*Belle — January 30, 2006 @ January 30, 2006 at 11:28 am